achmedadventures

Achmed's Travel Diary:
Unfair though it was, I paid the parking ticket. Not that I was worried
about the fries getting cold in the 130 degree heat, but rather because
the policeman threatened to impound Manon if I refused.
We hastened to the desert. Just as the sun was setting, I saw her. Actually, what I saw
was a shining white robe gleaming beside a dented sign. Manon stopped and tried to
call my attention to it, but all I could see was my Angel Guide who wanted fries,
and fries she would have! Tenderly I proffered the
brown bag. She removed the fries, left the Happy Meal, and clutched the
red box to her heart, saying:
"

".*
All I remember after that was Manon shouting , "Duck!" which I thought was a
curious thing for a camel to yell.

Miracles seem to happen to Achmed. Maybe it's his karma.
Unfortunately, without me, Manon, he wouldn't know an omen
from a pool of camel urine. Now he is so captivated by
The Woman in the Bag, he has followed her into a charnel
house--I tried to warn him, but perhaps, because he is
pure of heart and so cosmically confused, he will
manage to survive what she has in store for him.
I have seen these dessert women before who entice men into
the heart of Hinnan. She was no Angel, and The Rapture
was courtesy of the military not God.
But who can tell Achmed anything? Not his Mother. Not me.
Will he rise up from the dead like Lazarus to tell his garbled tale?
Having drunk my fill at the watering place, I can wait to find out.
If he returneth not in the three days allotted to him,
I can always hoof it to the Bethlehem Rent a Hump
and get my old job back.

Achmed's Travel Diary:
She apologized to the policeman and said she just couldn't wait any longer, but that argument held no weight
with the forces of law and order. When I tried to explain the events which caused my own delay--
that I'd been through Hell and returned by way of Heaven--I, too, was threatened with incarceration.
But what miracles I have seen!
Brought before The Master of Disguises who read to me
from the Book of Life, baptized by The Woman in a Bag,
cleansed and sent back on my journey by legions of angels--with these credentials,
you would think I could avoid a summons for desecrating holy places, but such is not the case.
My carry-all was searched and a sample of my DNA demanded on the spot.
How could I refuse? I could not allow Manon to be impounded for evidence,
so I gave them what they demanded and got off with a stern warning to be on my way.
Manon says the entire experience was a load of camel flop, and that I should be
more careful about who I hook up with in future.
Why does Manon suddenly sound so much like my mother?
And which experience did she mean?

Does Holy Manna from The Ark of The Covenant
really lower cholesterol levels in the faithful?
Answers to this and other pressing questions in