Chapter 3:     Manna From Leaven

(Want to reread chapter 2?)

 

Warning!!!  No Fries Beyond this Point!

 

 

From The Mouth of The Capernaum Camel Oracle

 

 

The Camel Oracle Has a Dream...
...he saw the ark and described it as the one whose 
construction is recounted in the Bible... a wooden box covered in gold and topped with 
two winged cherubim,  and inside were four mirror like tablets with Hebrew
inscriptions.
Solemnity gave way to riotous celebration as the ark reached the pilgrims.
Men and women mingled, singing and dancing, clapping to the beat of drums.*

The Chosen People Dance  before The Ark of the Covenant
(containing,  amongst other things, a golden bowl of Holy Manna
and four pain-relieving tablets)
*Nota Bene:  Do NOT confuse this miraculous event with 
that other time when The Chosen People  were dancing
around  praying to a Golden Calf .
**

 

The Allegory of The Sword in The Bagels
It is written in the sacred tablets that when 
Solomon foresaw the eventual destruction of the Temple,
 he  set aside a cave near the Dead Sea in which Josiah eventually hid the Ark . 
  (Maimonides, Laws of the Temple, 4:1). 

The "Keeper of the Ark," who claims to have it in her possession... acquired it during the reign of Solomon, when the Queen of Sheba, stole the Ark after 
a visit to Solomon's Dead Sea Spa for a mud facial.
It is said that a pilgrim,
 pure of heart , devoid of motive,
who can withstand the temptation of 
Sheba II, The Lady in the Bag, 
will come  and pull the sacred sword of Solomon
from the pile of onion bagels.  
That will be the agreed signal for the Messiah's Return. 

So Now Achmed, Our Solitary Pilgrim, 
has to choose...

 Will it be The Lady or The Ark?

 

What's behind Curtain Number one?

It is I, Sheba II, The Lady in the Bag, 
revealing myself to you .  
No longer will you, the reader, be able to
play the voyeur, watching but uninvolved. 
 Achmed Morganstern has made an earth-shattering decision --
he has turned away from The Sword in the Bagels 
and chosen to follow me  into the Desert of Intrigue,
where, even now, the King and his vicious Henchmen are plotting heinous deeds.  If Achmed manages to steal the map I have hidden, perhaps he can bring help before it is too late...

 

Plotting Heinous Deeds Deep in the Desert...

"But the ark is too powerful," Nimrod whispered to the King. "If we took it , it would
destroy us." 
 "But we do not WANT it, you fool!.  we are going to destroy it.  
Surely you can manage to make kindling of this box", sneered the King.
Turning to Sheba II, he demanded: "What are you doing with that bagel, woman?"
In it, Sheba II had secreted the  map. 
"Feeding the vultures, my precious lord and master, " she murmured.
When The King turned back to his henchmen, she quickly tossed it toward Achmed
who was lurking amongst the petrified sand dunes that surrounded the desert camp.

The Hidden Map Revealed!

Achmed's Travel Diary: 

If I live to be as old as Methuselah, I shall NEVER understand these people! 
 Manon and I raced back to Capernaum, stopped at the police station  and presented the map 
to the Officer in charge.  What did he do?  Laughed in my face.   
Although I had told him my name was  Achmed, 
he kept pointing to the map  shouting: "Orlando!  Orlando!" 
When I tried to apprise him of the impending danger, he said: 
" Sorry, not in my jurisdiction, Mr. Achmed."
Then he returned the map and  showed me the door.  
I have no idea what to do now.  To whom can I go for help in this dire situation?
As I walked back to where Manon was waiting, I prayed for a sign
to guide me.
Imagine my dismay to discover that, in my absence,
Manon had managed to get herself another parking ticket.

Not Only Was Manon illegally parked, she was also befouling the footpath.

****

 

Chapter Four:  The Brazen Laver Mouse Oracle Intervenes